Double Trouble: Two More Fiends (FFIV, Days 50-53)

First off I should apologize for my lack of updates over Labor Day weekend. It's always a busy time for family stuff, much of which keeps me away from my computer. So fair warning, this is going to be a long update while I go over everything I've completed since my last post.

As you may recall, COBOL and SQL had just reunited. Following this fortuitous meeting, I obtained the Baron key which not only gave me access to the ancient tunnel beneath the castle, but also to the Weapon/Armor shop. I made use of these assets before setting off into the underground to infiltrate the castle. Upon the party's successful entry, we were joined by Baigan, the snotty advisor from the beginning of the game. Supposedly, even he was worried about the king's actions.

I say supposedly because he quickly turned on the party, transforming into a snake-armed monster. The battle was annoying, but not particularly difficult. This boss likes to use reflect, but we already know the way around that, don't we? SQL was my reflect bearer for this battle, and my three mages just bounced all their spells off of him. Boom. Done.

Baigan? More like BAI BAI!

With the mini boss sorted and filed away in D for Dead, I took advantage of the fact that you can sleep in the bedroom in the tower for free. I knew I'd need to refresh my HP and MP before entering the throne room in Baron. Still, it was a little weird to think that a known 'enemy of the crown' was able to sleep in his old room right in the castle without anyone noticing. Of course this is less odd considering how empty it was at this point. Regardless, I cured up and prepared to enter the throne room.

Pay no attention to the traitor sleeping in his old room. 

It was time to confront the king, only to find that he was not the king at all. In a twist that fails to surprise, we find that the king has long been replaced by a monster himself. Not just any monster, either. The fiend of water, Cagnazzo, is my oponent. You know what that means? Bzzt! Fun with lightning.

Caputini?

It shouldn't really come as a shock (Pun intended) that I finished off the boss with little trouble. Just as the beatings had concluded, Cid, who I've named Java arrives on scene, apparently having escaped wherever he was imprisoned. Unfortunately he's a little too late to deliver his promised face-beatings to those responsible for his recent predicament. So he will just have to settle for joining COBOL's quest at this point.

Cid: Free face beatings since 1991.

If you're familiar with this game, you know that there is a fairly poignant part coming up. Be forewarned, the feels are reals. As we exit the throne room into the antechamber, whatever is left of the fiend of water gets all giggly. Just like his predecessor Scoobydoobymiglione, he invites the party to join him in hell. In a matter of moments the walls start to play 'trash compactor' and our heroes discover they're locked in on both sides!

Always gotta have the last word.

Now here comes the feels train! The young twins seem to have an idea that will save COBOL and company from pancake status. Before anyone else seems to realize what their plan is, CPlus+ and CSharp have turned themselves to stone. Now normally you'd assume a couple of gold needles would fix them right up, but alas, this transformation seems a bit more permanent. I'm not afraid to admit that this scene made me tear up a bit the first time I saw it.

:`(

MEANWHILE...

Meanwhile... 

Golbez and Python learn of our progress, and the villain seems displeased at how strong COBOL is becoming. Python suggests using Perl as encouragement to have COBOL bring the final of the four elemental crystals of light to them. Golbez of course likes the idea and the prospect of getting to kill COBOL at the time of the exchange. Python shrugs and offers to inform the party of the terms.

Geez, guys, I'm standing RIGHT HERE. 

After a sufficient time lamenting the loss of the twin mages, the party goes on to Java's airship, which has been hidden right in the castle all this time. Lift off!

*Airplane Noises*

No sooner are they in the air than someone spots another airship approaching their location. Java is ready to show what his baby is made of, but unfortunately for this plan, the approaching ship hails them instead of attacking.

Such a violent minded fellow.

Python is all business, and when COBOL tries to get more out of him he gets the cold shoulder. It's almost like someone is controlling him. Duh.

Of course this is a deal in which both parties will keep
their promises, whatever do you mean?

With little choice but to comply, the party heads for Troia to 'borrow' it. Upon their arrival, they discover two things. First of all is that VBasic is recovering in Troia castle, having barely survived the shipwreck. Unfortunately, he's too frail to rejoin the party. The second discovery is that the earth crystal is not in Troia, but in the hands of a dark elf who set up a magnetic field that makes metal weapons and armor impossible to wield in his cave.

Musicians... such divas.

I went to the village to set everyone up with non-metal weapons, and thus began my journey into one of my least favorite dungeons of all time. This place is a pain to get through. I died and had to start the dungeon over twice, but not more than that, which is some kind of record for me. Upon reaching the boss, there's a nice little scripted battle in which you get rekt. I'd forgotten this and was very upset until the cut scene started and I realized it was still ok.

Now back in Troia, VBasic had given some whisperweed to the party and this happened to alert him to the fact that the party was in trouble. Good thing he knew a song that was effective against Fey Creatures like dark elves that just so happened to also work over a whisperweed network. It disrupted the spell that had created the magnetic field, and allowed the party to equip their armor and weapons to kill the boss.

Saving the day from bed. My kind of hero.

Earth Crystal get! Magically, as soon as the party got back into the airship, Python reappeared to escort them to the tower of Zot to make the exchange. Of course, rather than take them directly to Golbez, he leaves them to fight their way through a dungeon first, with the implication that they'd better do it quick or the girl gets it.

Originality of threat: F-

Halfway through the dungeon, we meet up with some minions of the third fiend, who happen to be another staple of final fantasy. The Magus Sisters were there, ready to mess me up. My strategy for this particular battle is summed up as me asking my husband who I should kill first. The middle one, apparently. Well it worked so.... cool.

We'll be back in several other titles,

After this little diversion, I made it to the top of the tower and handed over the Earth crystal. For some reason, COBOL seemed to actually think that Golbez would uphold his promise of letting Perl go. His actual response: "I don't know who you're talking about." Typical.

You better not have her tied up underneath any sharp objects...

Now Pascal is REALLY mad. So he takes matters into his own hands and challenges Golbez all by himself. So our villain gets a meteor to the face, and Pascal has used up the last of his life-force to do it.

This spell is called Meteor, but is also known as Michael Bay.

Then a few things happen. First off, Golbez tries to kill COBOL, but can't seem to do it for... reasons? Next, we discover that whatever Golbez did to control Python has worn off due to the face meteor incident.

COBOL is apparently the boy who lived.

Last, but definitely not least, we get to watch another mage let go of his mortal coil. At least this time I remembered to unequip all of his stuff...

Shouldn't have done that, bro. 

Suddenly everyone remembers, oh yeah, Perl. They burst into the room just in time to save her, no joke, from a GUILLOTINE. Then, the reunited lovers embrace and it's super kawaii and makes me grin so much. They're all cute and lovey and he basically confesses his love without actually saying it. It's a guy thing, I know.

^_^ SQUEE!

The tender moment comes to a quick end as the third fiend shows up to make trouble for the party. At least she's extremely vulnerable to jump attacks, so the newly un-mind-controlled Python makes himself useful.

Is it like, laundry day?

After her defeat, Barbariccia proves to be a load bearing boss. The whole tower starts to crumble, so it's time to make a hasty retreat. White mages have a neat trick for that.

VWORP VWORP VWORP

The teleport takes them back to Baron, specifically COBOL's bedroom. My first thought? That's kind of inappropriate. In any case, what's left of the party now has the opportunity to regroup and plan their next move. Golbez has all four crystals, and that's bad. Except it seems there are actually 8 crystals and not four like they thought. Golbez needs the dark crystals too, so there's still time to get to them before he does.

But wait! Isn't the airship back at the tower we just teleported out of? No problem.

"Because apparently back then they had ships that could do that."

Awesome! Allow me to leave you with one final thought.

Add your own caption.

There's a joke in here somewhere, but I don't think I know enough about programming to make it.